Cats

The stage version of Cats confounded critics and others and has made billions. People from all around the world see something in a mixture of songs based on poems, woven with the idea of a feline talent show: the winner gets to go to the Heavyside Layer, which is Cat Heaven. You have to be a “Jellicle Cat”—whatever that is. It doesn’t matter… It seems like it should matter, but it doesn’t. The original production was a junkyard set, and the singing dancers filled the auditorium from all directions, singing and dancing in lithe catsuits.

And now Tom Hooper has followed the success of Les Misérables with a film version that has been universally annihilated by the critics. The trailer generated mass social media mockery all the way back in July because of the CGI fur on very obviously adult humans. Cats begins in the familiar junkyard setting but it turns out to be a feline version of an old London: milk bars, theatres showing The Mouse Trap and all sorts of visual puns. In a change to the show, a new cat character is abandoned in a bag, and when she is let out she turns out to be Victoria—played by Royal Ballet Principle Ballerina Francesca Hayward. 

Introducing a character who’s a stranger is a very good idea because the other cats are introduced as they perform their song in the hope that Old Deuteronomy (Judi Dench) will select them. The story’s villain is Macavity (“the mystery cat”) played by Idris Elba, and again it is clever casting because he has no song. And if the story has a hero it’s Grizabella—played by Jennifer Hudson, who is there to sing the big song… “Memory”.

And so Cats is an immersive film with all the scenery and the performers with their CGI fur, but another thing that the trailer mentioned was the “Choreographer of Hamilton” Andy Blankenbuehler. Because on stage Cats was a dance musical and it’s important to note that the choreography here is excellent—and very much like Hamilton only with cats not Revolutionary Americans.

Rebel Wilson and James Corden are on hand to play heavy house-cats Jennyanydots and St James’ Clubland prowler Bustopher Jones… and their material is based on some of Eliot’s weirdest cat poetry. You can understand that a cat can be sleek and mysterious, but: lining up cockroaches and mice and things?  This is taking the imagination of the setting to new levels which are definitely bizarre; and another kind of bizarre is when you see Growltiger (the ruffian cat) is being played by someone doing a Ray Winstone impression—but then you realise that it is Ray Winstone (they have cut his fake Operatic aria).

Why did this work on stage but seemingly doesn’t on screen? Maybe that’s the magic of theatre, which will later be fondly pastiched by Gus, the Theatre Cat (Ian McKellen). On stage, the “Skimbleshanks The Railway Cat” is all about the building of the train from pieces of rubbish lying around, but in the film it’s about choreography. Everything is clattering at full steam to Jennifer Lawrence with CGI fur singing “Memory”—the camera right up in her anguished face: so she isn’t a cat at this point because it’s her face! This is when the Cats movie seems to be most awkward: In zooming in on everything, and in making this a demonstration of cats and their talents and characteristics, the film-makers have bet on the audience getting it—and the truth is that this film will find its audience later. The stage version pre-plugs “Memory” a few times, but the film does not. However it does have Taylor Swift and Andrew Lloyd Webber’s new song, “Beautiful Ghosts”, which is terrible. And it has it twice, and makes Judi Dench sing some of it.

And amongst the big star performances there are the likes of Francesca Hayward and Robbie Fairchild—who commits fully to being a cat and whose performance is eye-catching solely for its commitment without any particular staginess, and no fame. Neither of these people deserve to hear what’s been said about this film, and the same is true for the large cast of excellent dancers. This film is a faithful and inventive version of a stage show that really never made any sense—and the film does expose the how slow it can be at times. But it’s definitely not as terrible as has been said. It’s got some profoundly weird visual images and is probably too freaky for a child audience, and it seems very long. If you don’t know the show then don’t see the film, but if you enjoyed the show you will probably like it.